No Token Thanks Here

As some of you who I interact with regularly or who see my Facebook posts may know, my MammoDiagnosaCancerversary recently passed. That was November 13th. While I didn't let that date go by unnoticed, neither did I mark the date here on my blog. I thought about it, but to be honest, I just didn't have the time. This fall I have been crazy busy with things completely unrelated to cancer. And for this, I am very grateful.

In the U.S., we often let our expressions of gratitude collect through the year like little treasures quietly stowed away until November rolls around. Then, on Thanksgiving, we unleash them explicitly and joyfully in a shower of gratitude for things big and small: Health, happiness, puppies, seat warmers in the car, financial stability, our partners and spouses, spectator sports, chocolate, neoprene, coffee, hair, grandchildren, opposable thumbs, trade winds and piña coladas, the smell of pine trees, flannel sheets, my children's caring and thoughtful teachers, british accents, Craig's safe return from China, modern medicine... The list goes on, and I'm sure yours does, too. Thanksgiving is truly about more than food: It is a wonderful explosion of good feelings, warmth, and hope. But if it's so warm and fuzzy, why do we wait for a special day to give thanks? Maybe it's because we need the regular reminder. After all, our daily lives are often fraught with shitty things big and small, that take on more urgency than the things we love and are grateful for.

Sometimes, during our Februaries, Junes, and Augusts, we do remember the things that make us feel grateful or fortunate. But what would it take to make every single day a day of giving thanks; a day of gratitude? I'd like to think it doesn't take a cancer diagnosis. But I do know that not one day has gone by since last November that I have not been immensely thankful for someone or something. Some days I almost tear up with thankfulness and relief for simply being here, for Craig's kindness and love, and my ability to play soccer with a bunch of other middle aged men and women. Other days, it's more mundane stuff: gel nail polish, for example, or large sized non-stick bandaids for the cuts on my knees from soccer. Cancer sucks, but in a very bizarre way, I'm grateful for how my cancer diagnosis made me more aware of all of the little beautiful things. They're there. All the time. Right in front of us.

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'm going to share here a post I made here on my blog last May titled, simply, "Grateful." Happy thanks-giving, everyone.

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Cleaning the garage

Taking care of the soccer carpooling

Feeding the pets

Emails and text messages from friends (even if I don’t respond, I read them all)

Load after load of laundry

Fixing the towel rack

Cleaning up dog barf

Dinner

Pulling weeds

“You have a nicely shaped head”

Fixing the kitchen chair

Doing the grocery shopping

Hats

Getting the tire on my car fixed

Running a meeting for me

Mowing the lawn

Chocolate

Going out for coffee with me

Walking the dog

Driving the kids when they have to get to school early

Offers to shave and polish my head

Filling the bird feeders

A new pair of sweats for my horizontal days

Helping me plant the garden

Little notes in my box at work

Making sushi with the kids

Thoughtful cards in the mail

Cleaning out a birdhouse

Hand sanitizer everywhere

FMLA

Doing the dishes

Getting gas for the mower or my car

More dinner

An origami bird in my box at work

Presenting a paper for me

Squeezing me in last minute at the doctor’s office

Co-teaching with me

Fixing the doorknob

A vacation for the kids

Nurses who know my name without having to look it up

More laundry loads

Taking me out to watch a soccer game

More dinner

Listening to me talk about cancer and chemo

Remembering that sometimes I like to talk about things other than cancer and chemo

A snuggly child

Cleaning the coffee maker

Helping a kid with their homework

A Facebook message

Letting the dog out first thing in the morning

Flowers

A new book

Scooping dog doo from the yard

Helping me understand my treatment

Driving me to physical therapy, doctors’ appointments, and chemo

Ordering and picking up take-out

Jump starting the battery

Going to the kids' games and cheering them on

Fixing a loose part on a table

More dinner

Phone calls

Getting a kid a meal on the run

Picking up a prescription

Hugs
Health insurance

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. So many people giving me (and us) so much. Thank you, all.